It’s my Birthday and I’ll Reflect if I want to

By August 26, 2009 Fajr's World, Life


The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
- Robert Orben

Today is my birthday. Before you shout for joy and tell me happy birthday, understand that I’m kind of a birthday bitch. Every year around my birthday I get pensive and frustrated, not with getting older, more with thoughts on the future. Talk about killing the celebatory mood. My Virgo nature wants to make a fuss about it but instead opts to have a low-key celebration with close friends and family. I try desperately to break out of the birthday blues, but they creep in every year like clockwork.

I’ll be 26 tomorrow and all I can think about is where I want to be in the next year. That’s the thing about birthdays; you should be celebrating the past year but all you can think about are the years to come. Ashe Mischief did an amazing post on the 101 things to do in the next ten years and inspired me to write a list of things learned this past year and things I want to accomplish in the future.

26 Things things I’ve learned this year:

1. Not to sweat the small stuff. I already knew this, but this year it was certainly put to the test
2. As each day goes by I’m becoming increasingly more comfortable wth who I am; don’t know where or if there is a finish line though
3. There’s a big girl inside of me and when she wants food, I listen.  I’m scared of big girls!
4. When I apply myself and give my very best effort, I can do anything (further application neccesary)
5. I’m at the very begining of my adult life and (Insha’Allah) I have a lot more to experience
6. I need to learn more about money; From getting it, managing, growing it and keeping it. Nothing worse than funny money
7. Some things that used to matter to me, don’t any more
8. True Blood is my V; Sookie, Eric, Bill, Tara, fine ass Eggs and crazy ass Layfayette, I’m addicted
9. Blogging has become more than a hobby, it’s my way of life
10. I still haven’t outgrown wanting to be an only child
11. Michael Jackson meant more to me than I realized
12. People will be exactly who they are and you have to accept it and keep it moving


13. Rome wasn’t built in a day and nothing happens in a vaccuum. Patience is a virtue I need to work on fine-tuning
14. Comfort food is my friend even when I don’t need comforting
15.  Me + Too many drinks = Verbal Diarrhea
16. Some of the coolest and most talented people I’ve “met” are from the internet
17. Dancing is my therapy… take your problems out on the dance floor
18. I’m a Wendy Williams stan and proud of it. How you doin’?
19. I need to be more chartiable. It’s good for the soul
20. Asking for help isn’t always a sign of weakness, sometimes it’s a sign of maturity
21. As much I love me some good gossip, I really could care less what celebrities are doing
22. Sometimes things really aren’t meant to be
23. I’ll take a boring night at home with the Boo to a boring night out any day
24. Girl’s Nights Out = Debauchery!
25. I’ll never outgrow playing dress up
26. I don’t have all the answers, but I know the questions to ask to get them

27 things to do before I turn 27:

1. Grow this blog’s readership and continue to connect and make friends through it.
2. Continue practicing and building my DJing skills
3. Go on a solo vacation or day trip. Just hop on a bus and get away if only for a few hours
4. Purge my wardrobe for charity and re-build it from scratch
5. Launch my freelance career
6. Learn how to work more efficently and stay focused
7. Build my nest-egg
8. Tape a webisode for Stylish Thought
9. Meet fellow fashion bloggers in person and maybe over a cocktail
10. Dye my hair, a color other than black
11. Have a True Blood themed party
12. Finally get around to decorating my apartment
13. Brainstorm ideas for the book I dream of one day writing

Girl with book

14. Continue my career in Iinteractive Media
15. Spend more time with my family
16. Get another tattoo
17. Treat myself to spa day
18. Ween myself off of Red Bull… It gives me wings
19.  Perfect my hair weaving
20. Move from conceptualizing to actually setting up my vintage store
21. Go on more quality time dates with the Boo
22. Get a car  
23. Raise my credit score
24. Take a dance class
25. Work less and have more fun
26. Exercise more and lose 10 pounds
27. Enjoy every day

This list was hard to write and truly stretched my mind  as to what I take away and what I want to attract in my life! As I blow out the candles on my cupcake, I’ll replace the blues with positive thoughts of all the great things yet to come.

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Stylish Thoughts on… Coco, Karl & Feminism

By August 19, 2009 Fashion
karl lagerfeld

Stylish Thought
karl lagerfeld

Karl Lagerfeld quote1

Karl’s quote is steeped in  decades of stereotypes (among other smelly things) about feminsim and the women’t movement. Coco Chanel was a feminist due to the very fact that she designed for women, liberated women’s fashion and stood up for her beliefs and style. She may not have referred to herself as such, but the very fabric of which she was made and lived her life by, is cut from the cloth of feminist before her and after her.

As a Women’s Studies minor in college, feminism and the study of women is very important to me. The misinterpretation of feminism is something that happens all the time and clarifying precisely what it is and why it has nothing to do with being fat, a spinster, a lesbian or ugly is integral, not just to elderly fashion designers but to everyone.

Since the women’s liberation movements of the 20s, 60s and today, feminism has been met with a backlash that has made heinous claims against a cause designed to end and obliterate sexism against women and men. Feminists from Susan B Anthony to Gloria Steinem have been cast with insults: man-haters, “too ugly to get a man”, bra-burners, spinster, cat-lady, fat, lesbo, you name it. An association with feminism or an interest ultimately gets you the same labels.

In my humble opinion, everyone is a feminist. Not just women, but men who love women, men who love men and anyone who doesn’t want to be discriminated against simply because of what’s between their legs. And that includes Coco as well. As for Karl, he may be the one exception seeing as anyone with enough balls to say such a thing (even if it is someone else’s “words”) deserves only one label and that’s “ass.”

Since  Karl clearly has the ability to speak with the dead and knows what Mademoiselle Chanel thought herself as, maybe he should get out of the fashion business and join Letoya her psyhic friend Miss Cleo, where his skills would be better suited.

What do you think of Karl’s “Coco quote”? What comes to mind when you hear the word “feminism”?

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Well Heeled: Jeffrey Campbell

By August 13, 2009 Shoes
Jeffrey Campbell shoes

It’s no secret that Jeffrey Campbell is the shoe designer du jour of the blogosphere and the world for that matter. His shoes are just that stellar. Jeffrey Campbell specializes in affordable runway and trend interpretations that never look like cheap knock-offs. Celebrities, bloggers and shoe-lovers alike can’t get enough of JC.

Jeffrey Campbell shoes
Bloggers wearing Jeffrey Campbell shoes
Bloggers wearing Jeffrey Campbell
Shots from his 09 Lookbook

I can’t get enough of Jeffrey Campbell. The shoes are not only affordable but the quality is up to par, even for the price point.

Is anyone else in luff with Jeffrey Campbell shoes? Which pairs are you wearing, coveting, admiring?

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Cats with Style: Boxing Kitten

By August 10, 2009 Fashion, Personal Style
boxing kitten

Vintage inspired with a mix of clashing ethnic prints would succinctly describe Boxing Kitten. Electric colors and simple silhouettes scream boldly and loudly; Boxing Kitten is certainly not for the wallflower. Designer Maya Lake infuses vibrancy and uniqueness in her pieces for Boxing Kitten, creating what she calls “ethnic rockabilly.”

The vintage shapes are perfect and flattering to most body shapes and the clashing, bold custom-made prints inject humor and culture. What began with creating clothes for family has grown into a full-fledged clothing line. Maya’s aesthetic grew and developed with her studies of African-American culture and the Civil Rights movement in college. She merged her love of fashion with her interest in African American studies and out of that Boxing Kitten was born.

boxing kitten
The mixing and coordinating of the prints is genius and goes perfectly with the high waisted style. What do you think of the strong prints of Boxing Kitten?

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How to Be A Boss Lady: Lighting the Fire

By August 3, 2009 Entrepreneurship


Starting a vintage clothing business is one of those long-held goals of mine that I didn’t dare speak into existence for fear of failure. My mom owned a clothing store for much of my childhood and I spent many afternoons there. When her store closed its doors, I worked in her close friend’s store, so in a way the entrepreneurial spirit is inbreed.

I’ve seen many of my fellow bloggers launch businesses through blogging and felt a bit discouraged with the competition and saturated market. But pish posh, just like every blogger has a unique voice, so does every business and I’ve decided to quelch the doubts and begin my journey into entrepreneurship. And when a massive lot of vintage clothes (thanks to the boy’s mother) fell into my lap,  I figured it was time to put up and shut up!

Sharing will not only help me but help readers looking to start businesses of their own. The information out there on starting an online business is so vast and confusing, a condensed birds’ eye view of how to get started will be beneficial to everyone. It will be hard work, but the idea of  getting the wheels rolling is overcoming the fear of starting a business.

How to Be A Boss Lady will be a continuing series with installments on writing a business plan, web design, photoshoots and the like, all from my view as I embark on starting a business. I hope you can come along for the wild ride as I begin my business and maybe get inspired to start one right along with me.

Readers, have you wanted to start your own business? What’s stopping you from lighting the fire to get started?

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