Thelma and Louise: The Case for Female Soulmates

By September 21, 2010 Love Advice, Relationships

Cultivating female-centric friendships is one of the most important journeys in a woman’s life. However, as essential as it is to our growth and development so many of us have lackadaisical friendships and/or are engaging in negative relationships for the sake of “friendship”.

{FYI: You don’t have to kill to be bonded}

Society would have us believe that female relationships are either sad interpretations of Sex and the City or riddled with cat-fighting. For some this is true and while I’ve definitely had my fair share of catty friendships, I’ve come to realize that the friends I consider the closest are an immense part of the fabric of who I am and who I am to become. They are my female soul-mates. The Thelma to my Louise, the Edina to my Patsy.

The Real L Word

Let the world tell it, Oprah and Gayle have been getting it on for years. Is it so hard to believe that two women can truly connect and love one another from a place that is supportive, caring and non-judgemental. This is not to paint some Utopian picture of female friendship. Every friendship has its issues, but its how we deal with those issues that show the true measure of your friendship.

I’ve been blessed to have had several female soul-mates through elementary school to my current friendships. Women that have been my biggest cheerleaders, dealt with my mood swings (woo chile) and let me be me even when I wasn’t sure who that was. In return, I’ve tried my best to give them my support, to be a shoulder or listening ear and to strive tirelessly to put a smile on their faces. We may not talk every day and may not share every detail of our lives but when you need them they are there. To me that is what real friendship is about.

{Road Trips are a Rite of Passage}

Feeding your Friendship

It’s easy to rest on the laurels of time or history when it comes to friendship. But in order for a friendship to grow to “Rocking Chair” status (a friend who when you’re both 90 you’ll be on the porch in your rocking chairs together) you have to nurture it and feed it with truth, honesty, experiences and unconditional love. When I think about my most satisfying friendships these were the common elements that connected us.

Keep it Real

Yes ma’ams and up your butt friendships really irk me. If you wanted a lap dog, you’d get a puppy. Friendships are about being able to tell someone they’re pissing you off and hold no punches. Honesty is queen and a friend who would rather praise me than tell me when I’m being a douche bag is not a true friend in my book. There’s something to be said for not wanting to hurt someone with the truth, but if it comes from a place of love that shouldn’t be an issue.

Nurture your Secret World

The beauty of girlfriends is in the inside jokes, the crazy stories and things that the you share. It’s that secret world and the laughter that inhabits it that makes the relationship so special. The fact that you can go shopping and pick out the perfect outfit for one another or can have the simplest time in a highway rest stop people watching. It’s like a secret society that the two of you are privy.

Have friend, will travel

My fondest experiences with my gals include either an airplane or a car ride. New surroundings are like a jolt of electricity to sisterly endeavors. Taking your friendship on the road unearths idiosyncrasies and adds new dimensions of comfort and ease to your relationship. Plus getting lost together and car dance parties are a religious rite of passage in the Church of Sisterhood.

Sharing Everything is not a Prerequisite

When I was younger, I believed that a best friend was someone you shared all your secrets with. I’ve since abandoned that Cosmo theory in favor of something more mysterious. For me it’s not about knowing every detail of a person’s life, it’s about the experiences that reveal everything you ever needed to know about a person. Girlfriends are a piece of the puzzle that shouldn’t be contingent upon whether you dish the dirt or not. And if a pal is sticking her friendship stick where it doesn’t belong, tell her and she should be courteous.

Celebrate your Differences

While similarities and fate may have bought you to your female soul-mates, it’s the differences that sustain you. She’s a little bit country, you’re more gangster rap, but your unique styles are what make the friendship rich and full of variety. I joke that I’m the Katy Perry to my friend’s Rihanna. The funny girl to her sex kitten and guess what, it’s respecting those differences that allow us to be fully appreciate each other’s unique light.

{The Fab Duo}

A Word on Frenemies

Mean Girls is the totem for female friendships gone wrong. Backbiting, fakeness and cruelty are characteristics associated with women befriending women. While we’d love to believe that those things are not true, they are and at times female friendships can seem like more trouble than they’re worth.

While I don’t believe in throwing people away, I’m not an advocate of friendship for friendship sake. If there’s a girlfriend in your life who continuously rubs you like a cheap pair of corduroys, take a step back. As we mature and go through life, we outgrow people and sometimes circle back. If a friendship is making you feel bad or not nurturing you the way it once did, taking a step back is not only recommended it’s required.

Share some experiences with your female soulmates? What’s the best part of your friendships?

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What I Wore: Wine, Women and Wardrobe in the Capitol

By September 20, 2010 What I Wore

What do you get when you put a group of women, stylish wardrobe and wine! Utter hilarity, that’s it! This weekend I trekked it to the District (or Chocolate City as it’s called) to hang with the gal pals, indulge in our love of wine at the Virginia Wine Festival and have a whopping good time, which included Indian food, vintage galore and staged photo shoots in our museum-like hotel!

To the Vineyards We Go!

The Virgina Wine Tasting Festival was by far the highlight of the weekend. You know I love my WINE!!! Tasting the different offering from dozens of vineyards was amazing and opened my eyes to the variety of wine out there. It’s not all Moscato, Drake! Oh and watching drunk people is also hilarious!

The Deets:

Jeans: UO brand
Tee: Old Navy
Trench Jacket: Forever 21
Jewelry: Vintage
Shoes: BCBG (borrowed from a friend)
Bag: Betsey Johnson

Bloopers Reel

{My friends have no respect for the Art of Blogging! Heffers!}

{Drunk Stilt Walker. Talk about holding your liquor}

{The Devil Made me Do It}

{That Bear was Naughty!!!}

{Perfect backdrop for a photo shoot!!!}

{All I’m missing is a cocktail}


{Fajr’s Fun House}

{My sentiments exactly!}

How was your weekend?

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Suggested Reading: 9.16.10

By September 16, 2010 Links

{Leopard, Boobs and Big Hair! FTW!}

  • The Joys and Pitfalls of Working at Home. A hilarious comic from The Oatmeal!
  • Real couples. Real weddings. Real Style.
  • Starting Over isn’t as bad as you think. Neither is going back. Great post from Life without Pants
  • has lots of videos on how to guest post  and the benefits of guest blogging
  • Check out the 5 Things Project from Grechen Blogs. She asks bloggers to list “5 Things You’ve Learned from blogging. And here’s my response!
  • Hey now, you’re a Frock Star! Abigail wore a dress every day for a year! Check out her crinoline chronicles and the surprise party her husband threw her at the end of her journey
  • Is Gaga’s Meat dress fashionable or just plain controversial? Beautifully Invisible get to the center of the debate
  • Elizabeth Wellington of the Philadelphia Inquirer contemplates the absurdity of open-toed booties

For Your Viewing Pleasure

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Designer Studio: Shavonne DeAnn

By September 14, 2010 Designers, Personal Style

What would New York Fashion Week be without a renegade showing? As well-known designers paraded their creations down runways in Lincoln Center, Moore College of Art and Design graduate and local designer Shavonne DeAnn decided to take to the steps of Lincoln Center and show fashion week exactly what she was made up.

In a move that is the essence of independent design, four models wearing a muted color palette including a fishtail romper, full swing trench-coat/dress and hooded dress with rosette shoulder details, took to the steps and drew an astonished crowd includingNew York Magazine and June Ambrose. Talk about building a buzz!

Shavonne DeAnn is well on her way to one day showing at New York Fashion Week. Her designs are sculptural in soft colors and I need that romper in my wardrobe for next spring! Here are few pieces from her Fall Lookbook.

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Shavonne DeAnn Sneek Peek

Check out her YouTube Channel and follow her on twitter @ShavonneDeAnn

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In the Trenches: Military Inspired Looks

By September 13, 2010 Trends

Military style clothing is one of those things that keeps coming around in fashion and is always deemed as the next big trend. Except for the fact that military inspiration has never actually gone out of style. It’s a perennial trend that takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.  Camo green, cargo pants, nautical accents and shearling bomber jackets have all been borrowed from our armed forces and used to spice up our sartorial lives.

I’ve been searching for an affordable and cool army jacket to jazz up with military patches. On my hunt I’ve put together a few inspired looks dedicated to the militia!


Attention! by stylishthought

High Seas!

High Seas! by stylishthought

Auto Pilot

Auto Pilot by stylishthought

What branch of the “style military” are you enrolling in this Fall?

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Confessions of a Lipstick Virgin

By September 13, 2010 Beauty, Makeup Counter

I had never done it before. I would see other women doing it and secretly wish I could do it too.  The movies were full of them and watching starlets on screen so effortless made me wonder what I was missing out on. But no, I could never be as cool and seductive as them. I could never have perfectly lacquered lips, swathed in rich color. Ruby red pouts that are the picture of sex appeal and boldness. I was a lipstick virgin; seduced by the power of the bold lip.

Lipstick has come a long way from crushed beetles and aristocracy. Today, the prevailing lipstick trends include bold hues like sherbet oranges, pinks and deep reds. For a lipstick virgin it can all be overwhelming. By definition a lipstick virgin is one who’s never wore lipstick. You may have played around in your mother’s makeup drawer, but if you’ve never hit the town with a full on Liz Taylor pout, then your just scratching the surface.

Do you have Lipstick Phobia?

I’ve always been a tried and true lip gloss girl (my lip gloss is poppin’) so a foray into lipstick felt foreign and weird. Perusing the Rite Aid beauty aisle, I would reach for a red tube, get it home only to find that I looked more like Bozo the Clown than Dita Von Teese. Combine that with the bullshit stigma that bright hues and African American skin don’t mix and I was certain that lipstick wasn’t  for me. Behind closed doors I would try it out but I was hesitant to go out on the town without feeling fully confident I could pull off the look.

{Losing my Lipstick Virginity}

How to Find your Perfect Pout?

My lipstick phobia was certainly self-induced. Seeing women of color in magazines and online looking dynamic in their bright lips eased my fear and assured me that I too could pull of a bold lipstick. Here’s how I took my phobia by the reigns and awakened to the luster of lipstick.

1. Get thee to your local beauty counter

While buying lipstick in the drugstore is good for experimenting, it’s also throwing money away. Get the advice of a professional at the department store or MAC store. Let the consultants try different shades on you and find one that works without having to make the commitment of purchasing. I recently took a trip to the MAC store to buy the lusted after Ruby Woo, but the makeup artist showed me that Mac Red was much more my shade.

2. Experiment with different shades and finishes

There is no one set shade for anyone. You may think red is your color only to find that pink suits your skin’s undertones better. Lots of lipsticks have a matte finish that many find too drying. Try high shine or moisturizing lipstick. Take free samples from consultations and experiment to find undiscovered shades and finishes that work.

3. Take your lips for a test drive

Once you’ve hit the sweet spot with your shade and finish, pucker up and take your new pout out on the town. I suggest a social setting as a new lipstick can be a bit much for work (especially when you normally wear gloss) Gauge how you feel wearing your new shade and ask the opinion of a good friend. And remember to carry it with you for touch ups!

4. Be confident

Like anything new, it takes confidence to pull it off. You and your vivacious new lip color are sassy and command the attention you deserve!

Extra Credit: Red Lip Tutorial

What was it like the first time you wore lipstick?

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Stylish Thought goes… to IFB Evolving Influence conference

By September 9, 2010 Life of Ms. Thought
IFB 007_picnik

Kicking New York fashion week with a decided bang, Independent Fashion Bloggers sponsored its bi-annual Evolving Influence conference. A conference by fashion bloggers for fashion bloggers. Since it’s inception, IFB (and it’s lovely and supportive founder Jennine) have cultivated a community of independent style bloggers and provided useful information on starting, maintaining and growing a blog.

In a word, the conference was nothing short of AMAZING!  Sponsorships by American Express, the Find and Jeff Silverman allowed for a high level of production. And the speakers!!! The speakers were the stuff of fashion blogging legends: Susie Bubble, Bryanboy, Rumi Neely, Gala Darling, Phil Oh and many more.  This being my first time attending, I didn’t know what to expect and was appreciative of the detail and hard work that went into it.

Snaps for the Kids

{Stylish bloggers all around}

{Gala Darling and I. I look like I’ve seen the blogging Dalai Lama… she is fucking awesome!}

{I was stalking her boots. I might have even threatened her to watch her back}

{The After-Party. Cool people, Cooler Conversations}

Of course there were some key takeaways and I compiled them in this list of

5  things I learned at Evolving Influence

1. Blog for the Love of It, for the Intense, deep love of it

The common thread throughout the event was PASSION! All of the presenters blogged because they loved it and were deeply committed to it. Not for traffic, not for recognition, damn sure not for money, but because they were passionate about what they had to say. And the other things naturally followed.

2. Community isn’t just important; its ESSENTIAL

IFB is a community for bloggers and my favorite part of the entire day was getting to meet some pretty awesome, like-minded people. Putting faces to the blogs that I’ve grown to love and talking with new and fast friends. We get so used to dealing behind a computer screen, it was nice to step away and get up close & personal.

3. Get a boyfriend and get one Fast

So if I didn’t already feel bad about being single, now I’m devastated that I don’t have a boyfriend-slash-photographer to take amazing outfit photos for me. It seems that {Hot boyfriend + DSLR + Cool Outfits= Blogging Success}

4. Bloggers are everyday people

Seeing my blogging idols Susie Bubble and Gala Darling in person, hearing them speak about their blogs was a mystical experience. But more than that it put a human interaction to these lives we see online. Famous bloggers are regular people and hearing their stories laid claim to that.

5. In a Room of Bloggers everyone has something to offer

The conference was sold out and with good reason. Everyone there is committed to blogging their passion and while we all may not reach “star” status, we all have something amazing and valid to contribute to the space. Just being around that energy solidified that truth for me.

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See you in New York

By September 8, 2010 Links

Fashion Bloggers Unite! Can you tell how excited I am about Independent Fashion Bloggers Evolving Influence conference tomorrow? Waking up at the butt crack of dawn and trekking to NYC to hear some informative sessions on blogging and meet some amazingly talented and stylish fashion bloggers, I can’t wait!

If you see me tomorrow shout me a holla!!!

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