50 Dating Rules for Smart Girls Who Don’t Need Dating Rules

By March 9, 2011 The Vault

If you watch enough romantic comedies or read enough Cosmo, you’ll be led to believe that women are either:

A) Unlovable Lepers
B) Whiny, needy and pathetic
C) Waiting on a man to save them

Well you know what I say to that; BULLOCKS! For every love starved fictional female character, there is a kick ass woman who understands that love is great but it doesn’t make or break her.

Contrary to Lifetime movies, dating can actually be approached from a place of intelligence and fun and doesn’t have to be a mad dash to the altar. However the “rules” of the dating game so often leave us gals on the sideline waiting for the ever elusive “one”. So where are all dating “rules” for women who’d rather harness their own power than wait for a relationship to give it to them?

Here are 50 dating rules for smart girls who could care less about dating rules!

1. Trust your instincts & always follow your heart

2. “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution .” ~Mae West


3. If he’s not dating you, he’s not sleeping with you…. (see #4)

4. Unless of course you want to sleep with him.. then do you boo!

5. Being single is not the end of the world: it’s the most liberating time when you can do what you want, answer to no one and fall in love with yourself!

6. Sometimes sex is just sex; break it to him gently

7. We’re independent, pay our own bills, change our tires and still want to be held; vulnerability makes you strong

8. Liking a guy is no excuse to act bat shit crazy… be cool gal!

9. Liquor & true emotion don’t mix… trust me on this one

10. Dating is meant to be fun; not a spectator sport

11. Love is only as complicated as we make it

12. Everything you need to know about him, will reveal itself

13. Girls just wanna have fun is more than a song; it’s a way of life

14. Your Prince Charming does exist; but you don’t have to be Sleeping Beauty waiting for him to rescue you

15. Respect is the minimum, disrespect is where to draw the line

16. Femininity is our gift; use it wisely

17. Sex and the City is a work of fiction, not a guide for life (learned this the hard way)

18. Don’t play hard to get, Be hard to get

19. Waiting for him to make the first move? Ask him out

20. A breakup does not equal breakdown. Can I get an AMEN?!

21. Avoid two things in life: cheap shoes and cheap men

22. Playing small doesn’t pay: Let. Your. Light. Shine. Girl!

23. Match.com doesn’t make you pathetic but sitting home waiting for the one will make you bitter

24. Confidence is Sexy; Independence is even sexier

25. Maybe you’re just not that into HIM

26. Having a date doesn’t Vali-Date you

27. Being a size 0 won’t make him like you and if it does… he’s a dick!

28. A woman will have multiple great loves in her life and each one should make her a better woman

29. No man is perfect and neither are you! Get over yourself!

30. “A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.”~ Cher

31. Paying for dinner and opening doors aren’t reserved for men, they’re reserved for people with manners

32. Don’t make your single girlfriends out to be catty, jealous haters

33. Relationships are hard work; know this and fall in love anyway

34. Speaking your  mind won’t scare off the right guy, it will make him fall more

35. If you treat a first date like an interview, it will feel like one

36. You can only control one thing in a relationship: yourself

37. Be who you really are via @loveandtrash

38. Having a career, hobbies and a life are all prerequisites

39. There’s so much excitement in getting to know someone… take your time

40. A smile is the best introduction

41. Live and learn and be thankful you didn’t get Luvs

42. Men who write dating books for women have a special place in hell— Steve Harvey!

43. Don’t settle for less than butterflies— but you already knew that! ;)

44. If he doesn’t support your shoe habit, it’s not true love!

45. Being the best you will ultimately attract the best partner for you

46. Being picky isn’t a crime, being nitpicky is

47. Dating your self is great practice and teaches others how to love you (good one @StylisticTaste)

48. “Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them” - Sex and the City

49. The antidote to desperation is self-confidence.

50. At the end of the day, be honest about how you feel and walk away. If he’s the one he’ll run to catch you

What are some of your dating rules?

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The Many Hats of Stylish Thought

By November 30, 2010 The Vault

I have a sick fetish for hats, like one that Dr. Phil would probably dedicate an entire episode to and scold me about not accepting responsibility for my addiction. The funny thing is that while I love to don a topper my abnormally large head isn’t alway so cooperative. Despite my vast carninum I’ve managed to amass quite the collection of hats and since my routine as of late has been to don headgear while blogging, tweeting, reality tv’ing (wearing multiple hats, get it?) I figure why not dedicate a post to (*Michael Buffer voice*) THE MANY HATS of STYLISH THOUGHT!

Hats are our Friends

Million, millionare, a milli (young money baby), milliner. Only good things can come from such a prefix. I won’t bore you with a history lesson on millinery (but this website can; inform you, not bore you) because if you’re already a convert to the Church of Chapeaus than I’d be preaching to the converted.  Beside the usual rhetoric on hats and their magic powers over bad hair days, headgear adds a truly unique flair to the wearer and it’s an accessory (akin to shoes) that doesn’t make you look fat, feel bloated or require extensive tailoring (unless you’re getting a custom job).

6 Hats Every Hair-brained Hat-Nista Should Own

  1. A Beret: if the French put their stamp on it, then it’s a no-brainer. You may not look French but you’ll feel like you’re in a French film
  2. Fedora: Indiana Jones may have tainted the fedora, but the Blues Brothers made them eternally cool. Blues Brothers>Indiana Jones
  3. Turban: They’re trendy but many a fabulous woman donned turbans; Diana Vreeland, Kate Moss, the Girl in the Pearl Earring.
  4. Straw Hat: Cause you’ll look pretty foolish in a wool floppy hat on the beach, unless of course you’re going for irony and if so carry on
  5. Faux Fur Hat: Something about a fur hat is very Boris & Natasha. Add a red lip and voila’ instant chic
  6. Quirky Headpiece: Some days you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t. And on the days you do, a quirky flying saucer headpiece is really the only thing to even you out.

Aside: For us big headed broads, men’s hats are a gold mine. I peruse the men’s hat sections of dept stores and always find well fitting lids. And I’m not ashamed.

Headmistress of Headgear

The late Isabella Blow is the only person that comes to mind that understood (and wielded) the power of a hat. While technically her headgear was more art installation than functional accessory, she was never overshadowed by her Philip Treacy confections. They added to her mysterious allure and over the top panache.

Master Milliners

Louise Green
Leah C. Couture Millinery
Suzanne Couture Millinery
DeDe Valentine
Lady Diane Hats (Kentucky Derby customization)
Mr. Song Millinery (Aretha Franklin’s controversial hatmaker)

And now an Homage to ReRun (the King of the Red Beret)

Are you a Millinery Maven? How often do you wear hats?

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What your Nail Polish Color Says about You

By August 4, 2010 The Vault

“You got your toes done up with ya finger nails matching”- Kid Sister

Salons across the world are stocking up with the latest trends in nail color; last year was dark hues: black, cranberry. This summer we’re tickled with mint green, neon or white. So why all the fuss over a chemical paint that chips in a week? Because it defines you! Duh! Choosing a color takes precedence over actually painting your nails. Nail color is the new mood ring and Big Apple red sends a very different signal than Beyonce blue; and there’s nothing worse than mixed signals.

Paper Magazine

Here’s a Myers- Briggs* personality assessment to help you identify if you’re a Chanel Black Satin or a Essie Mint Chocolate Chip and what that means in real people speak.

*This actually has nothing to do with Myers-Briggs or Carl Jung, just wanted to reference them so you’d take this seriously*


You’re sultry, devilish with a retro flair. You love victory rolls, platform shoes and cancer sticks. You wouldn’t be caught dead in anything not form-fitting and you typically have a red lip to match. You are woman, hear you roar!


Sugar and spice and everything nice. Femininity is your middle name or maybe its just Rose. Either way you love to be polished and pulled together. Secretly you wish you could be a red, but you don’t have the balls!

Bright Blue

Indie girls unite! Bright blue or mint green or any trendy blue is like reverse psychology. It’s indie but all the mainstream girls are wearing it so you wear it to be ironic. Get it?


You refuse to be defined and are a blank canvas for the universe to paint its colors. Truth be told, you’re indecisive and a commitment-phobe who makes herself believe white is chic because “it goes with everything.”

Fool’s Gold


Two distinct camps love black nail polish; rocker guys who paint their middle nail to flip off the establishment and fashion girls who want to appear edgy and in style. You can decide which group you fit in.

The Neons

You’re hip and you think outside of the box and you probably take hits of E while dancing the night away in a PBR drenched club. You love plastic bracelets and only wear neon because it’s the color you shoplifted from UO.


Sticker nail polish, really? You are a horrible person who sucks the fun out of life. You want all the convenience without the hard work and by hard work I mean the pain of chipping polish and touch-ups. Secretly you are an evil genius.

In all seriousness (see note above)  nail polish is an inexpensive way to add some color and fun to your fashion staples. It doesn’t say much about you except, “I like pretty nails”.

What nail polish color do you typically wear?  (and don’t cheat and say clear)

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The Dressing Dilemma: Who do women really dress for?

By May 18, 2010 The Vault

It’s the age old debate; do women dress mainly for themselves, for men or for other women? It’s a conversation that’s permeated the circles of women (and men forced to participate) longing to understand the motivation behind an amazingly dressed woman. This is deep stuff people.


So picture this scene. You’re invited to the party of a mutual friend of you and you’re ex. You know he’ll be there with his new, amazingly hot, Halley Berry look-a-like girlfriend. You’re breaking out in hives just thinking about it and what you’ll wear has been on your mind all day. Do you opt for your traditional style; jeans and a tee that you’ll be comfortable in? Or that form-fitting, bandage skirt that will make him drool, her scowl and you feel like you’re trying too hard to impress people that don’t matter.

Sure that’s a pretty specific instance, but one that happens whether it’s a special occasion or everyday attire. According to several fashionable women, our motivation for our sartorial choices varies. Carine Roitfeld, Vogue Paris EIC says she dresses for herself. Isabel Toledo has been quoted, “Women dress for men. I do dress for myself because it makes me feel empowered, but I’m definitely looking for [my husband's] expression, not his approval.”
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