Stylish Thoughts on… I am not my Hair
8 Sep
India Aire sang it best, “I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am a soul that lives within.” Black women and their hair are having a moment in the media. With issues of diversity, skin color and acceptance on the table (since the age of Obama) the next crusade it seems is to rid Black women of the self-loathing that comes with the rejection of our natural hair. And by rejection, I mean the wearing of weaves, getting relaxers and anything that is not your hair’s natural state.
First Oprah came out and said she “does not wear weave” (giving her the side eye) and then of course Tyra “Oprah is my big sister and I must jump on the bandwagon” Banks declared a “National Real Hair Day” to coincide with the season premiere of her talk show (what a coincidence). As if this weren’t enough, Chris Rock debuted his new documentary “Good Hair” that chronicles the debate in the black community on what exactly is good and bad hair and the New York Times ran a piece about natural hair. Hell, Michelle and Malia Obama’s hair is an internet senastion. It’s clear that Black hair is having its 15 minutes.
As a black woman I see both sides of the coin. I’ve worn my own hair in a multitude of hair styles. I didn’t get a perm until I was a senior in high school and it did very little to alter my naturally thick hair. I’ve worn it relaxed for 5 years and a little over two years ago decided to stop relaxing and grow my natural hair out to see what it would look like. In the process of “going natural”, I’ve worn braids, pressed it straight, worn a wild afro, played with wigs and have recently settled on wearing weaves. (the majority of women in my family have locs). All of this is to say that whether I am wearing my natural hair or some manufactured product, I still love myself and my hair is an extension of me, it is not me.
This debate runs deep in the African- American community back to slavery when light skinned blacks with good hair lived and worked in the master’s house and dark-skinned slaves worked in the fields. So it’s not one that will get resolved by a talk show host or a comedic documentary. However, the assumption that black women who wear weaves are somehow less accepting of themselves is hogwash, just as the thought that sisters who rock natural styles are somewhat “realer” is a dangerous notion. Black women come in a variety for a reason. If we were all made to wear curly afros or weaves, the full scope of our beauty would be lost. (Spike Lee’s “School Daze” scene, my favorite part of the movie, elaborates this point perfectly) And touting one as better than the other perpetuates a one-sided view of what it is to be a black woman.
At the end of the day hair is a personal choice, not a political statement. It’s your crown and glory for a reason and you should be proud of what it represents to you. I loved my curly afro, except for the shrinkage and lack of variety. I got a weave and I loved it too, except for the time it takes. It was so easy to change styles without damaging my natural hair and letting my hair take a break from daily manipulating. I dabble in wigs for the same reason. And when I’m in the mood to wear my hair wild, I wash my hair and let it go free. It’s all about my mood. Any style comes with limitations; there is no perfect “good hair bad hair” Black woman hairstyle. It’s about what’s perfect and good for you!
What do you think of the black hair debate? Do you wear your natural hair, extensions or wigs? Leave a comment!
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Couldn’t have said this better myself.
*rousing applause*
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Ms. Thought Reply:
September 8th, 2009 at 11:32 am
@Alicia: lol, thanks. It’s just something that bothers the hell outta me. It’s just hair for pete’s sake!
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great post!
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This is always going to be a tricky debate and I don’t think there is any real solution but I totally agree with you that hair is a personal choice and it’s about doing what makes you feel most comfortable! Great post!
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@Felisha: Thanks!
@Nneoma: I agree that there isn’t a real solution, there are only personal solutions. Thanks for the comment!
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I have to say, I am a “natural girl” and have been for a little over 2 years now. I love the strength and courage that my hair commands, but at times I do get a little weary of the maintenance and upkeep. But in those times I have not fear for I am not afraid of REMY !!! ;0 I love wearing my hair straight but haven’t done so in a while, with the moist weather and my current 5 days a week work out … but there are times I look at my straight hair pics and long for the days of cold, dry weather !
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Ms. Thought Reply:
September 18th, 2009 at 5:33 am
@CarterGirl: That’s the beauty of being a black woman, we can wear our hair in a multitude of styles!
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I agree I wear m hair just curly I don`t like it because it`s so bulky but I hate when I straighten my hair it`s short o I really CANT straighten it.. It’s amazing how women are judged by their hair
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Ms. Thought Reply:
October 4th, 2009 at 9:44 am
@Nadia: I agree. We are judged on so many superficial levels it’s sickening.
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“And when I’m in the mood to wear my hair wild, I wash my hair and let it go free. It’s all about my mood. Any style comes with limitations; there is no perfect “good hair bad hair” Black woman hairstyle. It’s about what’s perfect and good for you” — S.Thought
This is a perfect statement, if I may jump on a S.THOUGHT bandwagon! Not just as women of color, but as independent, dependent, angry, happy, fashion-forward, or uninfluenced women– we have (literally) the God-given hair right to wear our doo to suit our mood. I don’t need Tyra “I-wish-I-was-Gaye-King-to-be-closer-to-Oprah” Banks to tell me when to wear my “real” hair “out” as an effort to promote self-awareness and raise consciousness amongst (African-American) women!
I think people have gotten a little too Politically correct in their demise of European influence over hair. I’ll wear hair extensions, AKA weave, when and how I want to without regard for someone else’s self-proclaimed, self-awareness and self-righteousness. I’ll wear my “real” hair when I want without a chip on my shoulder that I’m somehow closer to either Jesus or Madame C.J. Walker because of it!
Oh Please, the hair is real, because it’s attached to a real person, by nature or a naturally good hair stylist who can sewn in a weave. ENOUGH.
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