We are creatures of comfort. We relish in having like souls near us; the warm words from our parents, sharing a good laugh with girlfriends and the tender touch from a lover. While we have the love and care from our family and friends, many of us are without a companion. We’re single and apparently not loving it.
Recently singer Rihanna, discussed her singlehood on the Jonathan Ross Show. She said,
“I’m not looking, [but] I would not tell you that [being single] is something to enjoy. Single life is just so overrated. It sucks. You always want to be single when you’re in a relationship, but it’s no bueno. I think that I have such incredible experiences that, you don’t want to live your life and meet someone; you want to share your life with someone. That’s what I’m missing right now.”
And it seems that Rihanna isn’t the only one who feels that being single sucks. Writer Niki McGloster from Vibe Vixen echoed her sentiments on being “super single”.
What happened to the days of the carefree single girl?
I’ve been single for nearly 2 years and it hasn’t been that bad. I’m alive and well. I have great friends, I manage to drag myself out of bed everyday and am a moderately productive, contributing member of society. I enjoy my life and while having a partner, lover and friend is on my life’s priority lists, not having it at this moment doesn’t make me want to die.
That’s not to say that being single is a cakewalk either. It’s not a Cosmo-filled adventure with sexy men and great shoes. It does get lonely and you have to do a lot of things on your own.
Companionship and relationships are necessary parts of life and when right they enrich us. The same should be said for being single. Getting to know you, what you want, what you will tolerate and how you will go about finding your mate are all by products of embracing being single.
In a perfect world, we would all have loving, adoring partners who contribute to our growth and share experiences with. But this is far from a perfect world and there are lots of reasons why we’re single.
My philosophy is that if you want a relationship you should make it a priority. If you feel that being single sucks, then by all means, make it your business to not be single. I commend women who know what they want and go after it.
For me, being single doesn’t suck. It’s just a signal that I have choices: I can lament my single status and let it define me or I can embrace it and let it propel me.
What are your thoughts? Does being single suck?
Hmmm….I’m single, not really by choice. I like being in a relationship, not to say that I have to be in one to feel complete, but I did like it when I had someone. I think there was a time not long ago when women had to tell themselves it’s okay to be single, to love yourself first before getting into anything serious. Fine and dandy with me, but what happens once you love yourself? You realize that you are now ready to invest in someone, and then you have NO luck? I’ve heard everything under the sun from friends and family when it came to me dating. “don’t chase them, don’t do this , wait for him to call first, if he doesn’t do this he isn’t worth your time” at that point it just seems hopeless. But like i said i’m fine with beind single, but when you reach a certain age, and all of your friends are moving on, have solid relationships, and you find yourself at home on the couch more and more on friday/saturday nights because all of your good friends are out with their partners it kinda bugs you. Well, sometimes it bugs me and i feel like women are ashamed to say that, like it’s a sign on weakness that you want to enjoy someones company, and be loved. I’m not ashamed at all, and while i’m not on the hunt for a man, it would be nice to have one. I’m not one to serial date, and play around. I’m quite sure the single life is glorfied in shows/movies (SATC) and whatever, but truth is thats not reality, and who wants to be that old having to go through all that crap? lol.
i actually loved being single when i was single but i’m not sure that was entirely a healthy mentality for myself, at least. i’d like to say that i was all, “yay! independence! i’m every woman, it’s all in me” but it was more like i was terrified of intimacy and had (have?) trust issues that made me push away all my suitors. i liked being single because i was terrified of letting anyone close to me. on top of that, i can count the people i’ve been seriously attracted to in my life on two hands. i recognize that people are attractive in one way or another all the time, i just find myself attracted to people very often! if you count the ratio between people i’ve been attracted to and dated, sure, i’m a prolific relationship person but it just doesn’t happen very often for me at all.
that said, i think there are a lot of people who actually enjoy being single for a lot more healthy reasons than me! plus, i think that there were for sure parts of me that relished being single for good reasons that don’t entirely discount that the fact that i was shying away from romantic relations. first and foremost, you get a BUNCH done when you are single. also, you get to be selfish with your time and your plans. i was single, though dating, for much of my college career and i think it allowed me to really focus on what i wanted and my studies. also, being single is really freeing because you don’t have to worry about the feelings and needs of another person. it can be really hard being with another person. you don’t have to worry about someone else’s feelings! not only do a lot of people out there kind of suck at relationships (or, probably, suck in relationships together) so might as well not have to deal with it.
i think both being single and in a relationship have their ups and downs. to everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose.
sure, i get that rhianna says that is sucks not having someone to share your experiences with but what about your friends and family? heck, not even friends and family, try strangers! i think we just get too caught up in romantic relationships that we forget about the entire range of relationships which is multivarious as people themselves! one of my best friends once told me that she would always put her boyfriend in front of her other friendships and was shocked when i thought otherwise. to her, it was just a “duh” that a boyfriend would trump all other relations. i never got that.
sophie
princessrhyme.blogspot.com
I think that there are ups and downs when it comes to being in single or in a relationship, so being single doesn’t necessarily suck. No one is guaranteed to have a significant other. I’d rather be single than in a bad relationship. I’m single now and I’d like to meet someone, but it’s definitely getting harder as I’m getting older. I don’t get asked out by anyone my age but I don’t know very many single people my age either. It doesn’t help that I’m almost 30 but I look 19 so most people assume I’m young or I get hit on by teenagers (eww, lol). I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life but I don’t know if I’ll meet anyone. I think I’d have to move to another city or state to broaden my chances.
Girrrrrrl…. you sound just like me. I totally agree. Shoot, I may need to move too. LOL
I agree with your point of views. but im only man and tried the same have moving to different city, still nothing happen nearly 2yrs now.
I don’t like to sit back and think about what mt life will be like if I NEVER meet anyone. But I guess that could very well be a reality for me one day. I don’t feel like I should have to work harder than anyone else to find a partner! Right now I’m just taking advantage of any opportunity I have to meet new people. At the end of the day I just really want a balanced and peaceful life. I do think it is possible to find happiness being single. It’s okay to be on the search for a potential mate, but in the mean time I think women should find out exactly what they want to do in life and experience as much as possible before the next guy comes along.
Being single is fun especially in Manhattan! You can never get bored. Of course we all desire that intimacy and companionship with someone but I know so many girls who are unhappy in their relationships. I think Rihanna needs to work on her female relationships because they really do enrich your life and make you not care if you have a man!
Being single shouldn’t suck…but it might if you spend too much of your emotional resources focusing on trying to get a man. Your time would be better spent trying to get a life…meaning learning to appreciate what’s good about your life. If it’s not working, there’s probably something more missing than just having a man.
Being single allows me to be free, unencumbered, and able to pursue my desires when I want. I love having a boyfriend, but I also love it when he goes home. Marriage isn’t for everyone.
The Spinsterlicious Life is a blog that celebrates the joys and realities of being a great single woman.
I’ve been single for less than a year. Singlehood was not my choice. It has been easier in certain aspects in regards to not having to make someone else happy and having the burden of someone else coming up in your thoughts before yourself. Also, having the courage to do things on your own.
Although it’s nice to do what I want, when I want, most of the time I wish I had a companion. Most of my friends have kids and/or are in a relationship. Honestly, I don’t want to hang out with their kids or be the 3rd wheel. I want to go out and explore, but they are all attached to their significant other and/or kids.
I want a companion to disclose my soul to. That sounds a bit overwhelming for one person now that I think about it. : / Either way, I just want someone to share life experiences with. I just want a balance of love with someone else and being independent. It seems like I couldn’t find that balance when I was in a relationship and now that I’m single. I feel utterly confused.
Lclaws will likely never see this response, yet I firmly believe it has everything to do with what life stage we’re at. Getting older and watching your friends get married, then have families, while you’re still single is not exactly fun. Being the 3rd wheel is exactly the way I’ve felt.
While relationships can be difficult at times, it’s a heck of a lot better to try & try again until you get a good match. Being single for an extended period of time is not enjoyable.
I am single and I absolutely hate it! I know that my looks play a part in it. I am not a very attractive woman as I hear this all the time from others. The weekends are the worse when I cannot hang out with my friends and I have no boyfriend to go to. IT SUX. I think I am single because I am ugly and because unfortunately I am black. I hate my life.
Leilani, I’m sorry to hear that you think those things about yourself. While I’ve never met you, I’m prone to believe that you being single has nothing to do with your looks and more with your mindset. We’re all beautiful creatures and looking like a model isn’t the only qualification to get love.
Whoever tells you that you are not attractive, is a pretty ugly person in my opinion. I hope you’ll think on that and hopefully see that beauty is more than skin deep.
~ Fajr
Yeah I am single and I’m happy to my status being single, Your free for anythings, But i don’t want to be single forever. I want to find someone for me!
Same here Rona! Single is fun but not a permanent situation!
i will certainly agree on that, and sharing a life with a loved one is wonderful nowadays. who would want to be alone?, certainly not me. but the key thing is to be very compatible with one another as well.
Here’s the kicker question for you. Are all your friends and siblings married, with families of their own?
If that’s the case and you’re still content being single and happy, then you have more will power than I do and obviously content being alone.
I can’t stand being single and long for a woman in my life again. It’s just so darn hard to socialize with people that have their own families.
The lack of that companionship is killing me. So yeah, obviously I need to do something about it.