There comes a time in every single girl’s life when she has to make a choice. A decision that will affect her for months (maybe years to come). A decision not to be taken lightly. Should she enjoy the dating scene and have sex casually outside of a monogamous relationship or should she withstand that pressure (and yearnings) and be celibate?
Sex is an important part of our lives, health and experiences and everyone’s need for intimacy is different. But one thing is universal, being single without “regular” access to sexual relations can be a tough for us modern girls. We have to make choices about our sexual health, our needs and expectations and do what’s best for ourselves.
Your Body, Your Terms: Casual Sex
You’re actively dating and maybe even seeing a few guys that you like. Or you’ve got a booty call on the backburner. Whatever the situation you have access to sex but not a serious relationship. You could be in between relationships or just not meeting someone you want to take seriously, but having sex in definitely on the menu.
You have needs, biological needs. And maybe your need to have sex is stronger than your need for commitment. You don’t have to worry about where your next lay will come from, or at least not worry as much. And the need for a serious relationship may be staved off by your casual affairs, at least for a little while.
You still have to solicit sex and outside of a serious relationship, that can be difficult. If you’ve had a long standing casual sex relationship, you still have to send awkward texts or phone calls for sex. You may wonder how you can turn a booty call into a serious relationship (which almost never works). If it’s casual, it’s probably not monogamous. Hopefully you’re practicing safe sex but the threat of STD and unplanned pregnancy is still there.
Kori, 28 said “It’s not in my genes to be celibate. Casual sex works for me because I have a need for it and while I would prefer to have a boyfriend that isn’t always the case. At the same time, if you’ve been having casual sex with someone for a while you have an understanding and remember to practice safe sex. My thought is even if I have a boyfriend, stuff happens. You break up and I would rather have sex than not.”
The Waiting Game: Celibacy
There’s more to relationships than sex and waiting can help you make better decisions when it comes to men and help you get in touch with what you truly want. But on the flip side, it is a waiting game. You have to choose celibacy because it’s something YOU want to do, not because you think it will snag a guy. Leave that 90 day rule to Steve Harvey and em and define what celibacy looks like for you.
You are carefree, well as carefree as you can be while not getting laid. You don’t have to worry about diseases or pregnancy. Whatever your reasoning for abstaining (religion, self-esteem, marriage) you have decided to hold sex to another esteem and wait for your own ideal situation.
You’re not getting laid. And surprisingly, all you can think about is getting laid.
Crystal from Texas says “Celibacy is tough for those of us who were sexually active but for me its the way to go. My choice is spiritual. Casual sex, while is ok for some, I can’t get down with giving myself to multiple people.”