“I’m tough, ambitious and know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.” ~ Madonna
We want it all. The career, the money, the lifestyle and someone to watch True Blood with on Sundays. We work tirelessly pursuing our passions; often borrowing time from our 9-5 and social life. Sleep is a foreign concept and the only thing keeping us sane is the vision of having all of our hard work pay off. We are ambitious girls; dedicating our lives to the pursuit of our dreams and burning with the desire to succeed.
While Oprah is the poster woman for success, as women we are not supposed to be dogmatically ambitious. We can want success, but we should never admit it. Sure the media has us believing that “Independent Women” are the new cult but deep inside we are wrestling with what it truly means to be ambitious and whether it is OK to want success.
What is Success Remorse?
Truth time: following my dreams and living my passion consume me. Sleepless nights, lack of social interaction and an Internet addiction are all byproducts of my crazy insane drive. Lately, I’ve been feeling that my desire to be a successful writer and blogger are abnormal and that I should care about more “wholesome” endeavors.
I know what you’re going to say; success is relative and it shouldn’t be your main focus. This is true, but when did putting qualifications on wanting success become acceptable? And why does my vision of success have to result in feeling like I shouldn’t care about being successful; when in fact I do?
How to Deal with your Ambition and Success Remorse
Define Success for Yourself
Success is not a dirty word; but coping to the status quo is. Everyone wants success and it’s up to us to define what success means. For some women, success is a high powered career and an expense account to others it’s coming home to laughing kids and to some it’s both. No one but you can define what your success looks like.
Know That You are Worthy
Sometimes our feelings of remorse of really feelings of inadequacy in disguise. Who are we to want to be successful. let along to go out and grab life and demand that success? In order to rid ourselves of remorseful feelings we first have to recognize that each of us is worthy of achieving our dreams and living the life we want.
Stop Looking for Validation
If you want everyone to buy into your dreams you will be rudely awakened. Not everyone will understand why you spend hours studying for your law exam or why your idea of a rocking Saturday evening is staying in to fulfill orders for your indie shop. And guess what? That’s OK. This is your journey and not everyone can come along.
Don’t Sacrifice Quality for Success
Remember when I said success wasn’t a dirty word, well I lied sort of. Success is a dirty word when it’s followed with “by any means necessary”. Sacrificing quality, great friends or your morals for success may get you a quick win but won’t be sustainable over the long haul.
Keep your Heart in the Right Place
Ambition rooted in community, service and good faith is the true road to success. Women can be successful by harnessing our nurturing nature to propel ourselves and other women forward. It is from supporting each other that we in turn support ourselves.
Next time you doubt your ambitions, keep these in mind…
- If Coco Chanel wasn’t ambitious, we wouldn’t have one of the greatest clothing brands in history
- If Althea Gibson wasn’t ambitious, there would be no Venus & Serena Williams
- If Madonna wasn’t ambitious, we wouldn’t have Lady Gaga
- If Oprah wasn’t ambitious we wouldn’t have one of the most inspirational women of our time
I really enjoyed reading this. I LOVE this post and I agree 100. if you dont mind I would love to feature this post on my inspirational blog
Thanks Asiah! And I would love if you featured it!
This is some really splendid insight that I can completely relate to. Thank you so, so much for sharing this. It’s very sound advice.
I am very much enjoy reading this post.i like the inspirational post.thanks!
My goodness, I completely relate! Talk about this post being on time for me! I am definitely an ambitious girl and struggle with working myself too hard sometimes! I write for three blogs and working on my first novel all while holding down a full time job and a husband. Sometimes people think I’m soo crazy doing all of these things but I already spent a lot of my life living up to other people’s expectations instead of mine. Success for me is having something to look forward to, to be excited about, and live out my passion every single day!
Great post! I have been referred to as ambitious, and never really knew how to feel about that. From now on I will take it as a compliment! Thank you!