We’re the inspired generation. We have access to most innovative technology in history, we can create our worlds from behind a computer screen, we can opt out of a traditional college education, travel the world and live on our own terms. Despite all of the freedoms and advances we’re still miserable.
At 23, I knew this feeling all too well. I was miserable in a dead end job, the money I needed to get into a prestigious program was nowhere to be found and the thought of being a wage slave for the rest of my life was depressing me beyond belief. My vision for my life seemed so off from my reality and I had no clue how to get things back on track. After lots of soul searching and lots of reading, I started this blog and the fog began to lift.
So you think you’re having a Quarter-life Crisis?
Experiencing a quarter life crisis is kind of like being pulled down in a body of water. You’re plagued by in action, lack of motivation and confusion about what to do next… basically you feel stuck like Chuck.
The thing to understand about experiencing a quarter life crisis is that it is TOTALLY NORMAL! Our 20′s are the time to make mistakes, fall down and get back up again. However, when the symptoms begin to effect our mental health, our relationships and our well being then it’s time to seek help.
5 Signs you’re having a Quarter-Life Crisis
1. Job Dissatisfaction isn’t the Word: Having a 9-5 isn’t the end of the world, we all have to work. But when the thought of going into work sends you into a tailspin of hives and uncontrollable anxiety it may be a larger issue.
2. You Feel Clueless: You know that you want a better life but are clueless as to how to accomplish it. To make matters worse, it seems as if everyone else has everything figured out, but YOU!
3. Hibernation Mode: When you’re experiencing a quarter life crisis things like socializing and friends become less important. You become reclusive and life seems drab and uneventful.
4. Money Woes: For most of us our 20s are our first foray into money management and paying bills. The stress of college loans, managing money and living can be overwhelming.
5. Lack of Ambition: Remember the passion you had in college? When you’re in a quarter-life crisis that passion is lost. Dreams fall by the wayside and thoughts of settling down plague you.
Coping and Surviving a Quarter Life Crisis
The first step to dealing with your quarter-life crisis is to acknowledge that you’re having one. It may seem weak but admitting that you’re struggling is immensely strong. Here are 5 more ways to cope and come through your quarter-life crisis.
Take your Time
It’s ok not to be ok (Jessie J lyric) and the only requirement to feeling better is to take your time. Life is not a race against your peers and giving yourself time will allow you to discover exactly what and who you’re meant to be.
Read Up & Talk About It
For me the biggest regret is that I didn’t seek help or talk about my feelings more. While I did read The Quarter Life Crisis by Alexandra Robbins, reaching out to friends more may have eased my confusion.
Try New Things
Now is the time to get your gears cranking and try new things. The only way to discover your calling and get through the weeds is to experiment, see what works and discover what brings you back to life.
Seek Professional Help
Your friends can only listen to your issues for so long, plus they have their own. Seeking professional help can ge you closer to the answers you long for and help you sort through your next steps.
Know that it will Pass
Life is full of hiccups. But here’s the thing: they pass. A Quarter-Life crisis doesn’t last forever and you will get through it and hopefully come out on the other side a blossoming, spirited 20-something.
More Resources on the Quarter-Life Crisis
What is it about 20-Somethings? New York Times
What’s Really the Matter with 20-somethings? – The Atlantic
Are you having a Quarter-Life Crisis? – The Huffington Post
Eloquent piece on The Quarter-Life Crisis
Have you or are you going through a Quarter-Life Crisis? How did you get through it? Please share
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I just wanted to let you know that I always love your posts! You are always so insightful and eloquent in your writing. Thank you for your transparency.
Always,
Olivia
Thank you so much Olivia. That is incredibly sweet and I’m glad that you enjoy the blog!
I LOVED every word of this! I completely understand where you’re coming from. A few months ago, I quit my job at a bank and made it a commitment devote myself to something bigger. Today, I couldn’t be happier.
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the comment Jasmine! Kudos on taking such a huge leap of faith! Can’t wait to see all the great things on Elevator Noise
As a girl of habitual existential crises (asking ‘why’ is my job, unfortunately side-effect:P), I have two antidotes:
1) The passionate web. Talking to catalysts on Twitter or a good dose of themiddlefingerproject.org/whitehottruth.com/chrisguillebeau.com will and has always cheered me up and nudged me along.
2) Writing. 750words owns my soul these days. Poetry, likewise. And I just started working on my novel for real again! It’s a good medium for sanity
Tessa you never cease to amaze and astound me! When I’m weary with the traditional, I read all of those blogs as well.. Danielle LaPorte is my mother in my head. And yes writing is a saving grace!
Btw, I love your new site and your invigorated passion!
Yes, this is what I have been going through (in and out) since 2008. I’ve just had another relapse but am praying through it so I dont become as stressed as I use to be. At 25, I feel like time is running out career wise and that I have nothing to show for all my wisdom, intelligence, drive, and creativity that resides inside of me. My natural impatience doesn’t help either. I read blogs, magazines, and news articles about people my age and younger doin the dam thing and Im like I need to get it together and go do it…but how? I come from a family of conventional thoughts about how to get success in life thus cant get any support there or respect for my visions. Ive been discovering myself and the unconventional opportunities out there that I can go after or create for the past 3-4 yrs but have yet to put anything into action. This post was a brief summary of what I was and still am going through. I dig your blog for its insight and will continue to support. Toodles!
Chinwe, thank so much for such an insightful and revealing comment. It may seem like time is running out, but it most certainly not. This quote always helps me “It’s never too late to be who you might have been”
Although my quarter-life crisis has some different signs (I love my job but I don’t work enough, I know exactly what I want but am denied the opportunities due to crazy budget cuts here in California in regard to education, etc.) these tips are still very grounding.
Thank you. =]
Going through it now in the worst way. It is increasingly difficult to hold on and I am hanging by a thread. Sometimes I wish my life would end because I get so stressed. I feel overwhelmed in a confusion of fog while all my former peers blast ahead of me leaving the dust of success and happiness in my face. I don’t know where I will end up a year or so from now. Hopefully I can come back and read this from a better state of being.
[...] may seem scary, but if you’re experiencing more struggle than you think normal or going through a quarter-life crisis, talking with a life coach or therapist may be just what you [...]
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