I have a confession: I used to be a Negative Nancy *resounding glass shattering* Nearly two years ago, I was in a miserable job, a not so great relationship, the $20,000 I needed to go to a prestigious London school wasn’t materializing and I was so far down in the dumps I was eating garbage. From where I sat, everything was wrong and nothing could go right. Negative thoughts consumed me and quite frankly made me a piss poor person to be around. Hell I didn’t even want to be around myself.
The more I thought negatively about my life, the more negative things I attracted to myself . It was a vicious cycle that one day I decided to get off. There was no serendipitous event or voice of God wake up call. I just woke up one day and was tired of filling myself with negative crap that was only true because I believed it to be true. The thing about negative thoughts is that they are self-fulfilling prophecies and the more we feed them the bigger they grow.
Ridding yourself of negativity isn’t something that can be done in an hour with a Shaman or magic ginger root. It is an ongoing process that requires you to be aware and present, to acknowledge what is fueling your negativity and to practice the art of positive thinking. Negativity is a cancer that eats away at you, causes unnecessary stress and makes you unattractive to be around, so needless to say cutting the negative crap is a must!
Here are 5 ways to help you identify negative thinking and rid your mind of the toxic negative clutter.
Pay Attention to how you Feel
Your thoughts are a reflection of your feelings. If you feel bad your thoughts will reflect that. By staying in tune with your feelings you will be able to reign in your thoughts when they steer toward negativity by doing things that make you feel good or better about a situation.
Remove all Negative Factors
We are highly susceptible beings and if you’re constantly bombarded with negativity, you’ll eventually pick it up. Whether it be a negative person or experience try to remove it from your life. Got a coworker that comes and complains to you all day? Steer clear of their tongue lashings lest you too are bitten by the negativity bug.
Practice Gratitude
If your focused on what you don’t have, you won’t have. This may be harder said than done, but focusing on the mountain of bills or breakup will guarantee that you bring more bills and heartbreak to you. Focusing on what’s great about life will instantly shift your mood. We are all more fortunate than we think and realizing that will put negative thoughts into much needed perspective.
Stop Negative Thoughts Dead
Life isn’t a bed of American Beauty rose petals, shit happens and sometimes it’s hard to think positive. But being aware of your thoughts you’ll be able to identify when you’re thinking negatively and stop those thoughts dead in their tracks. Take that toxic thoughts!
Think of the Solution, Not the Problem
When we are worried about all the things that are wrong in our lives, nothing is getting solved. Instead of dwelling on the negative problems in your life, think of ways to solve those issues. Putting energy into the solution will ultimately contribute to solving it and eliminating the negative thoughts surrounding your dilemma.
I can honestly say that through a lot of soul searching and practicing gratitude, I’m in a much better place than I was two years ago. By riding yourself of the negativity that surrounds you, you can get to living a life that is full of happiness, acceptance and gratitude. I hope these tips help you to appreciate all that life has to offer and kick the negative thinking to the curb.
great post, important this time of year as it gets gloomier outside. 2 thoughts:
1. in yoga I heard once that we should pay attention to our thoughts b/c eventually they become our words, then our actions and eventually our patterns, character and destiny.
2. even though I am not religious, I have always been struck by religions that incorporate daily prayer, especially if it is more than once. I like the idea of making it a point to take a time out from our tasks and focus on something important. For me, I like to take 3 times a day to stop and write down 3 things for which I can immediately be grateful (usu. in notebook but receipts or sand work in a pinch too). Maybe I’ve had a bad day overall, but it’s good to be reminded that there’s always a sunny side to life
That quote is so true, I’m a firm believer that what we think about we bring about. And being raised Muslim, prayer was apart of our life 5 times a day. I don’t pray as often now, but time for mediation and practicing gratitude is essential.
Melina, thanks so much for the thoughtful comment.
this is such an amazing and inspiring post. there have been times in my life when i went through what you describe in this post. i wish i’d had something like this to read back then. i hope that this is read by someone who needs the inspiration, i think this would definitely help them.
thank you for your comment on my blog by the way!
Vogue Gone Rogue
You’re welcome Kristy. And I’m so glad you enjoyed the post.
This is such great advice, Fajr.
this was what i was waiting for it was a moment of enlightening for me to reclaim the life i aspire to have and want t live. and through the downs and even the ups its important to recognize most importantly your feeling which is what i always overlooked in my quest to seek appreciation but without appreciation what i have and what i dont how can i enjoy whats to come? this was very good post. im new to your site and i look forward to more of your insight *philly love*
Donna, I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post and I’m glad that you found the blog! *Philly Love*
I “liked” this blog, but wanted to add a comment, too. Avoiding those toxic nay-sayers and focusing on the solution, not the problem, I liked both of those. Excellent advice. Practicing Gratitude, however, is my favorite. It’s something I do many times each day and that practice has enriched my life immensely. Thanks for your great blog!
Kim
Joyful Inner Self