It’s the age old debate; do women dress mainly for themselves, for men or for other women? It’s a conversation that’s permeated the circles of women (and men forced to participate) longing to understand the motivation behind an amazingly dressed woman. This is deep stuff people.
So picture this scene. You’re invited to the party of a mutual friend of you and you’re ex. You know he’ll be there with his new, amazingly hot, Halley Berry look-a-like girlfriend. You’re breaking out in hives just thinking about it and what you’ll wear has been on your mind all day. Do you opt for your traditional style; jeans and a tee that you’ll be comfortable in? Or that form-fitting, bandage skirt that will make him drool, her scowl and you feel like you’re trying too hard to impress people that don’t matter.
Sure that’s a pretty specific instance, but one that happens whether it’s a special occasion or everyday attire. According to several fashionable women, our motivation for our sartorial choices varies. Carine Roitfeld, Vogue Paris EIC says she dresses for herself. Isabel Toledo has been quoted, “Women dress for men. I do dress for myself because it makes me feel empowered, but I’m definitely looking for [my husband's] expression, not his approval.”
Different women dress for different people and I go as far to say that different occasions dictate different wardrobe motivations. Ultimately, deciding how we cloth ourselves taps into the subconscious of how we see ourselves and how we want other people to perceive us. Standing in front of your closet brings about thoughts of what we want to convey to the world and our clothing choices are nothing if not another form of communication (and we all know women are master communicators).
I took to the Twitter streets to get some feedback
Personally, I admit that I want to be perceived as a “quirky” girl with an offbeat, fun style and that theme runs through my fashion choices. I want men and women alike to see me as such and whether you can admit it or not there’s a certain validation (cringing as I type this) with knowing that you’ve dressed to impress.
So maybe women dress for neither men nor other women, but for the selves they want to portray to women and men. That self changes with each occasion and sometimes that self is a loose interpretation of who we are and a strong reflection of who we want to be.
What are your thoughts? For whom do you dress to impress?
I definitely dress for myself! Being in a relationship (married) with someone who doesn’t pay much attention to clothes is pretty freeing that way. I’m lucky enough to live in a city where “quirky” is okay, so I just throw on whatever I want in the mornings.
(Glad to see you back and blogging! <3)
@ Michelle: I think dressing is very different for women that are already in relationships as opposed to those that aren’t. Thanks, feels good to be back. I missed you guys!
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[...] Stylish Thought: – The Dressing Dilemma: Who do women really dress for? [...]
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I dress for myself, always have. But I admit I LOVE it when the Boy makes a comment about what I’m wearing. I like what I’m wearing to be interesting, or entertaining, or amusing, or strange, and I like that he appears to get that, and appreciates it beyond me looking “cute” or “hot” or whatever.
There are a few other people in my life I feel the same way about. For the most part, I don’t give a damn what other women think about me, since I’m fairly certain most of them don’t want to emulate me, and probably wonder why I wear what I wear with my figure.
@Katherine: Thanks for the comment and good for you for not caring about what people think! More people need to take your approach to fashion and not worry so much what others think,
[...] Stylish Thought: – The Dressing Dilemma: Who do women really dress for? [...]
[...] Stylish Thought: – The Dressing Dilemma: Who do women really dress for? [...]
[...] Stylish Thought: – The Dressing Dilemma: Who do women really dress for? [...]
I dress for other women and myself. I think if I dress to please myself men will be pleased too (it works like this: I want to feel happy, I look for an ego boost, I wear something that will get me attention from men = thus pleasing myself). I care about what my husband thinks, or that other men are not annoyed, but not more than I care about how I feel wearing it. But women…women are different, they judge you in a different way and I do find that if I go to an occasion or to meet someone (or even to work) I dress thinking about what women will think of me, what they wear (and how I should dress similarly so as to not enrage them).
@Jessu: I certainly dress for other women sometimes, if only so that’ll like my fashion choices and be impressed by them.
[...] Stylish Thought: – The Dressing Dilemma: Who do women really dress for? [...]
i dress for myself..and i’ll admit, other girls. i like getting the compliments. my boyfriend actually likes me best when i’m just wearing a t-shirt and jeans and doesn’t even get it when i dress up and put effort into my outfit!
[...] Stylish Thought: – The Dressing Dilemma: Who do women really dress for? [...]
Hello, I think that the way we dress is a way of communicating something about ourselves. So no matter what we put on it is saying something about us. If we dress really down to earth, or quirky or crazy or whatever we are still telling everyone out there a bit about who we are- maybe comfortable with who we are, not concerned with fashion. I think I spend a bit too much time wondering how others will perceive me through what I”m wearing… I long for the time that I cared less, something I think I have to find balance around again.
Thanks for the topic. The picture at the top is great by the way
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[...] Stylish Thought: – The Dressing Dilemma: Who do women really dress for? [...]
[...] Stylish Thought: Do you dress for yourself or for someone you want to attract? A thought provoking post about who and why we dress the way we do. [...]
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Pretty remarkable post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed following your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon with other fascinating opinions.
Thanks Maegan! Glad you enjoyed it!
Women will never admit they dress to be looked at! A woman’s design was meant to be admired. She dolls herself up to be admired. A woman is only kidding herself if she only dresses up for herself, unless your a Butch.
Karl, I agree that women do dress to be admired or perceived as attractive, but that is certainly not the only motivation. Thanks for the comment!
Dressing up is to feel good. For whoever is involved. It is a nice thing to do. Above all else I would say it makes a girl feel confident and have a good time where ever she goes.
Sometimes I will over dress for a local club I’ve gone to 100 times just because I think it feels good to dress nice. I don’t even give it more thought than that. How I carry myself will determine what people think of me not how I dress.
Couldn’t agree more Adam! Ultimately dressing up is about how we feel about ourselves more than impressing other people.
Thanks for the comment!
I think people dress to impress others, no matter if it’s a woman or a man, because it makes one feel good about themselves. I can’t imagine women picking clothes to wear on the basis of just impressing other women, although at times this may be a motive if there is a bit of competition involved over a man lol.
I always try to dress in a way that makes me feel, and therefore look, confident. My mother has always said that a woman is most beautiful with a smile on her face and confidence in the way she carries herself, and I have taken this to heart. So in a way I dress for both myself, men, and other women–I dress for myself because I like to feel confident and I dress for others because the confidence my style gives me makes me seem more appealing to both sexes. Sort of like trying to let my inner beauty show on the outside. I love your posts, by the way. They’re so thoughtful and always give a refreshing salute to girl power!
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I think women dress up just to tease men. There should be some kind of law against this. When I go to the dance club, the women are dressed in the most revealing dresses and they all sit together. Then some even get up to dance with other women. It is like they just like to tease. You can see them looking at the men and then going back into their little huddle to talk about who is looking at them. When a man gets enough courage to walk over to ask them for a dance, they turn them down and laugh about it like it like they really accomplished something. Some women go to work looking like prostitutes. The minute a man makes a remark, they are running to the Human Relation Board complaining on sexual harrassment. That is why a lot of men have turned to homosexuality and other things, because a women these days do not act like women. They are too materialistic, always trying to play a game. They like this cat and mouse game and decent men keep getting raked under the floor mat. Men are polarizing into two camps, complete Alpha males which are ruthless and uncaring and the whimp that is being carried around by a leash. I ignore women that dress up and flaunt their bodies because I know 100 percent of the time they are playing some kind of mind game and will not make a reasonable friend. Their vanity gets in the way. They are too much into their looks instead of being decent people. Its ashame women have gotten this way, but that is the way things are as I see it.
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