The Dressing Dilemma: Who do women really dress for?
18 May
It’s the age old debate; do women dress mainly for themselves, for men or for other women? It’s a conversation that’s permeated the circles of women (and men forced to participate) longing to understand the motivation behind an amazingly dressed woman. This is deep stuff people.
So picture this scene. You’re invited to the party of a mutual friend of you and you’re ex. You know he’ll be there with his new, amazingly hot, Halley Berry look-a-like girlfriend. You’re breaking out in hives just thinking about it and what you’ll wear has been on your mind all day. Do you opt for your traditional style; jeans and a tee that you’ll be comfortable in? Or that form-fitting, bandage skirt that will make him drool, her scowl and you feel like you’re trying too hard to impress people that don’t matter.
Sure that’s a pretty specific instance, but one that happens whether it’s a special occasion or everyday attire. According to several fashionable women, our motivation for our sartorial choices varies. Carine Roitfeld, Vogue Paris EIC says she dresses for herself. Isabel Toledo has been quoted, “Women dress for men. I do dress for myself because it makes me feel empowered, but I’m definitely looking for [my husband's] expression, not his approval.”
Different women dress for different people and I go as far to say that different occasions dictate different wardrobe motivations. Ultimately, deciding how we cloth ourselves taps into the subconscious of how we see ourselves and how we want other people to perceive us. Standing in front of your closet brings about thoughts of what we want to convey to the world and our clothing choices are nothing if not another form of communication (and we all know women are master communicators).
I took to the Twitter streets to get some feedback
Personally, I admit that I want to be perceived as a “quirky” girl with an offbeat, fun style and that theme runs through my fashion choices. I want men and women alike to see me as such and whether you can admit it or not there’s a certain validation (cringing as I type this) with knowing that you’ve dressed to impress.
So maybe women dress for neither men nor other women, but for the selves they want to portray to women and men. That self changes with each occasion and sometimes that self is a loose interpretation of who we are and a strong reflection of who we want to be.
What are your thoughts? For whom do you dress to impress?
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I definitely dress for myself! Being in a relationship (married) with someone who doesn’t pay much attention to clothes is pretty freeing that way. I’m lucky enough to live in a city where “quirky” is okay, so I just throw on whatever I want in the mornings.
(Glad to see you back and blogging! <3)
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Ms. Thought Reply:
May 19th, 2010 at 6:16 am
@ Michelle: I think dressing is very different for women that are already in relationships as opposed to those that aren’t. Thanks, feels good to be back. I missed you guys!
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I dress for myself, always have. But I admit I LOVE it when the Boy makes a comment about what I’m wearing. I like what I’m wearing to be interesting, or entertaining, or amusing, or strange, and I like that he appears to get that, and appreciates it beyond me looking “cute” or “hot” or whatever.
There are a few other people in my life I feel the same way about. For the most part, I don’t give a damn what other women think about me, since I’m fairly certain most of them don’t want to emulate me, and probably wonder why I wear what I wear with my figure.
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Ms. Thought Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 6:53 am
@Katherine: Thanks for the comment and good for you for not caring about what people think! More people need to take your approach to fashion and not worry so much what others think,
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I dress for other women and myself. I think if I dress to please myself men will be pleased too (it works like this: I want to feel happy, I look for an ego boost, I wear something that will get me attention from men = thus pleasing myself). I care about what my husband thinks, or that other men are not annoyed, but not more than I care about how I feel wearing it. But women…women are different, they judge you in a different way and I do find that if I go to an occasion or to meet someone (or even to work) I dress thinking about what women will think of me, what they wear (and how I should dress similarly so as to not enrage them).
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Ms. Thought Reply:
May 24th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
@Jessu: I certainly dress for other women sometimes, if only so that’ll like my fashion choices and be impressed by them.
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i dress for myself..and i’ll admit, other girls. i like getting the compliments. my boyfriend actually likes me best when i’m just wearing a t-shirt and jeans and doesn’t even get it when i dress up and put effort into my outfit!
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Hello, I think that the way we dress is a way of communicating something about ourselves. So no matter what we put on it is saying something about us. If we dress really down to earth, or quirky or crazy or whatever we are still telling everyone out there a bit about who we are- maybe comfortable with who we are, not concerned with fashion. I think I spend a bit too much time wondering how others will perceive me through what I”m wearing… I long for the time that I cared less, something I think I have to find balance around again.
Thanks for the topic. The picture at the top is great by the way
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Pretty remarkable post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed following your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon with other fascinating opinions.
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Ms. Thought Reply:
July 28th, 2010 at 5:57 am
Thanks Maegan! Glad you enjoyed it!
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Women will never admit they dress to be looked at! A woman’s design was meant to be admired. She dolls herself up to be admired. A woman is only kidding herself if she only dresses up for herself, unless your a Butch.
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Ms. Thought Reply:
August 23rd, 2010 at 8:03 am
Karl, I agree that women do dress to be admired or perceived as attractive, but that is certainly not the only motivation. Thanks for the comment!
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