Cohabiting, or My Shit is better than yours
21 Nov
Few things in life are as stressful and self-depreciating as moving in with the boyfriend. At some point in life most of us will have a roommate; however the roommate above all others is the one you actually “room” with. Deciding to move in with the man you love is the simple part, but getting the man you love to love your baggage is a bit trickier. And by baggage I don’t mean the fact that you pick your toenails in bed or your phobia of large flat screen TVs; more like the baggage that is literally bags and bags of stuff.
In a normal cohabiting environment you would unpack your things, put them in your designated space and pray that your roomie is neither klepto nor pyro maniac. With men, decidedly one you’ve been intimate with and have loving feelings, it isn’t that simple. Your abundance of things is problematic, downright unnecessary and will, if not dealt with, cause strain in your relationship. And if you’re anything like me, your stubbornness and unwillingness to edit your things will also cause strain.
With a move pending soon, discussions of what’s necessary, what’s unnecessary, what’s worn, what hasn’t been worn has been common fare for the beau and me. While parting with a pair of worn black boots seems ludicrous to me, his practical nature says to chuck them, and a vicious cycle ensues. This is not going to be pretty. I’m instantly transported to Sex and the City (please forgive the reference) episode “The Good Fight” when Carrie and Aidan moved in and they fought over her useless stuff, his useless stuff and her, may I say, very fabulous Roberto Cavalli outfit.
While I don’t possess any manner of Cavalli, I do have pieces that I’ve acquired that while I don’t wear often, I most certainly think about wearing. The idea of having to part with them makes me cringe and gives me uncomfortable BGs. And while I know that I may have to cut down all of the things I’ve accumulated for the sake of our union, it doesn’t make it better. I’ve loved some of my clothes and shoes longer than I’ve known my boyfriend.
I’ve loved some of my clothes and shoes longer than I’ve known my boyfriend.
And while I wish that my love interest had the same existential crisis; he’s simply not a pack rat like moi.
I guess it all boils down to whether you’re willing to make the compromise that relationships require. Can I part with a bright red floor length gladiator dress that has never seen the light of day, so that I can enjoy the light of day in my new place? Or is a black studded sweater dress more coveted than my Man Du Jour? Just like clothes, I’ve got lots of questions and much like your true love, there’s only one real answer.
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Ok, so I’ve been a Stylish Thought lurker for forever, but I HAD to comment on this one because it brought back so many memories of me and the now-hubby…and the discussions about why I “needed” this or “needed” that. You’re right, it’s one of the first and biggest tests. You begin prioritizing right then and there…do I “need” this or can I part with it to keep the peace? Write on Front!
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I think, your choice is easier than you realize. If you are aware that you are a pack rat. Then you are already aware that all you have you do not need. Now just b/c you may not need your authentic replica thriller pleather jacket anymore. Doesnt mean you should chuck em. Make the most of your down sizing and say it with me Garage Sale. What you cant sell, donate. Turn your lemons into someone’s lemonade this holiday season. Thats my word to you practically.
Relationshipily, you have to comprimise. If you are willing to part ways with some things, then perhaps your gentleman would be willing to get rid of his unecessary items in an attempt to make room for you and make you feel more at home.
But if he’s not, then I firmly beleive in your right to keep the freak um dress and f*ck me boots.
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