In a world of Kim Kardashian, Basketball Wives and Instagram filters, where have all the real girls gone?
The other night my good friend, Alicia, and I were dishing late into the evening when the topic of fashion blogging came up. Since I run a blog, this isn’t an out of the ordinary topic and we started keke-ing about the different fashion bloggers we love.
As we surfed our favorite sites, Alicia started mimicking the “traditional” blogger poses. You know the ones; legs crossed, hands in hair, distant stare into the horizon. Hysterically laughing, I recognized some of my own What I Wore poses in her impression.
Then the conversation got real. “Why do all bloggers pose like models? What happened to just a pretty girl smiling in a picture? No one smiles anymore. Where are all the real girls?” Alicia questioned.
I thought about it. She was right. More often than not, when perusing the net the images I come across are women striking modelesque poses, squinting eyes and pursed lips in fabulous ensembles and full-face makeup. Not that it’s a crime to be poised, but Alicia, and I quite frankly, wondered where have all the real girls gone?
Now before you jump on this post saying, “Well, what’s a real girl?” Let me clarify. In our social sharing world we’re constantly snapping photos of ourselves. Adding filters, layers and customization to our natural selves. When you see nothing but Kim Kardashian’s airbrushed cheekbones it’s easy to believe that that’s what we should look like, at all times.
No filter, Just Smiles
But that belief is creating a world where we are not our real selves. And I don’t mean no makeup or a schleppy outfit not worthy of being photographed. I mean presenting our best, most authentic selves to the world, at all times and not hiding behind a “smize”, sexy pout or distant stare.
Being real is about connection, within and without.
As we continued our conversation, Alicia said the reason she reads blogs is because she wants to get to know real girls with great style. “If I wanted a model with an aloof look, I would read fashion magazines,” were her precise words.
I could totally relate. My favorite bloggers are women who I can imagine having fun with, seeking advice or just being great friends. These women are authentic, embody their message and style without sacrificing themselves to the celebrity standard of what a girl should look like.
As we sat there chatting, I snapped a picture of myself, fresh off a 12 hour workday, make up worn off, smiling and posted it to Instagram.
Does this make me a real girl? I guess. But it’s more than just taking a picture. It’s understanding that a smile goes a long way. That pouting in a picture doesn’t make us more sexy or more beautiful; but that embodying who we are, sans pose and pretense, makes us the realest creations ever. One of a kind women, inside and out.
And it doesn’t get any realer than that.
What are your thoughts on the “posing” trend? Do you think more young women need to be “real”?
Want more perspectives? Check out Gala Darling’s “Blogger Beautiful” and Grechen Blogs’ “Why I Stopped Reading Fashion Blogs
You are very right Fajr. I think we as fashion bloggers get so caught up in trying to be the next “it” blogger that we forget to be our authentic selves. I admit that I do try to have that Top Model facial expression in my photos but they never come out as good as I thought it would in my mind. LOL. In the end, it’s always to our benefit to be our unique, individual selves because that is what truly sets us apart from everyone else!
I couldn’t agree more. Every time I try to smize or look “natural” it comes off as phony. It’s difficult putting yourself out there, especially, when you want to look good. I think the key is realizing that we’ll can never be perfect, we can only be us.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment MJ!
I can so relate to this. I can barely muster two poses without feeling ridiculous. So, as always in my life, I’ve decided to push for my brains over beauty. lol
K, you are a girl after my own heart!
I make fun of this all the time, i also don’t take these photos as much as i want for fear of falling victim to blogger poses, but there are some bloggers who i think get it right. For example Man Repeller, she just doesn’t care, and some of her facial expressions are just…blah ” i don’t care” when i find bloggers who still manage to have fun with photos I come back to see what they have to offer. There are some bloggers who are really need to take this advice and smile, smize, or something because I can no longer take these dead eye poses, looking off in the horizon when you’re inside of a room…like what are you looking at? Either make yourself useful and do something, or look at the camera and give me some “life” lol.
dead @dead pan eyes
#insidejoke
AMEN!!! (reposting bc I dont think my comment went thru)
Although I am guilty of the model poses sometimes, I also do my best to show my goofy dorky side as well. I dont always wear makeup in my posts and almost ALL of my shots are candids but they def come across as model-esque. I love to see a smile on blogs and I agree with Elle that the dead look is so not good. But as far as the looking off into the horizon, I do that but I really am looking outside of my window because typically something is going on in the parking lot downstairs hahaahhaahah
Besides Man Repeller though, most big bloggers do the model poses and I feel as though other bloggers think they must replicate it in order to have success……. can you name many big bloggers who dont “POSE”????
Honestly no I can’t. I’m totally guilty of posing and trying to create solid photos but it’s always the candid snaps that truly reflect your personality. I love that you show your goofy side too!
I think the idea is, we can do it just like them! Us ( the real girls) with our imperfect, un-model portioned, big hips, plus sized everyday average real women/girls can pull off model poses and represent what real people wear. I love checking out everones swag. ( yours included) It’s our chance to say, Look how I rocked this, and I can pull that pose off wit it! Lol, well @ least that’s what I’m thinking.
Amen Mz. Choice!
What an excellent, funny, and thought provoking post Fajr!!
I must admit that I am guilty of not smiling a lot in my post, because I feel fake when I do my phony picture smile, lol, and prefer to smile when it happens naturally. However, I will be more conscious of my poses and tendency to smile more often as a result of this post.
I must admit, as a girl who has 44″ hips, a 30″ waist, dread lock having, blogger who only wears eyebrow filler and mascara on a good day, I sometimes find many bloggers to be unrelatable. However, it doesn’t make them any less real, just not realistic in terms of my attempt to relate to them. We could all take some time to reasses what our style blogs are really about and whether or not we are attempting to be bloggers or models.
Thanks Rocquelle.
“However, it doesn’t make them any less real, just not realistic in terms of my attempt to relate to them. We could all take some time to reasses what our style blogs are really about and whether or not we are attempting to be bloggers or models.”
You pretty much summed it up here!
Great post Fajr! I do like seeing some of my favorite fashion bloggers posing because it does show that a
regular” girl can pose and look just as gorgeous as a model. But at the same time, it makes me feel like when I’m taking pictures that I have to BAM BAM…hit every pose. And I’m not like that, at all. And great pic!
Thanks Brenda! Haha @ BAM, BAM!
As usual you are on point. Love your response.
Love this post! It confirmed the thoughts I have but kept to myself. I often feel as though I don’t pose like the more recognizable bloggers but as often as I have tried to have that “I don’t care look” it just doesn’t work for me. I’m a smiling, sometimes awkward real woman who wants to share “her” style with the world. Thank you for reaffirming that it is perfect okay to be…me.
Thanks for the comment Cathy. This line particularly resonated “I’m a smiling, sometimes awkward real woman who wants to share “her” style with the world. ” Kindred style spirits!
I agree. Bloggers are special because they are different than what you see in the glossies. That’s the beauty of them; they provide an alternative to the unattainable images in the magazines. Bloggers are more interesting when they are everywoman.
I love this post! It’s too easy to get caught up in the expectations of what fashion and real mean when reading blog, but what happened to being real and portraying that on your blog? Thanks for the reminder
I will work backwards. I firstly do not think that Gala Darling is a good example to add to a list of people that give commentary on anything real. She has made a career on being “made up” for quite some time. Other than her inclusion in the article I am very happy with this and wish more people paid attention to the fact that Fashion blogger was supposed to offer alternatives views on fashion not necessarily regurgitating the same ideas as Vogue or Elle or any other traditional fashion media.
I love this post. Its so true. You find more often than not, bloggers who started out with a completely different point of view than they have once they have gained popularity. So, its really interesting to see how blogging and social media has changed our culture. I’m sure this is a topic that will resurface over and over again.
I loved this post. I have to admit, I am a poser but i have been modeling since I was very young and when I see a camera I strike a magnum…lol
I do however just take pics of me just being me and they are so that my readers know that it is not all about clothes and accessories for me but about true beauty, the art of fashion and the power of being a girl.
I do think that it is great that we all can be so fashionable and pretty, but I think that we can definitely be beautiful without.
Most importantly, I think that more important than the images that we post, the content in which we right should allow people to see us in our true light and that is that we are real girls that love fashion.
Again, great post.
I totally agree. When I first started doing outfit posts (and even now) I decided I should try not to pose and do model-y things because I’m not a model and posing like that just didn’t feel natural. Now, I do love me a good instagram filter or fun effects, but I still love the ‘real girl’ bloggers who aren’t all perfect like in the magazines. Because once you make an fun outfit shot more like a strategic photo shoot, it seems staged. Unless, that’s what you’re going for.