Elissa at Dress with Courage wrote a great article on hair and how it affects us! It made me think of this post I wrote a year ago about not being defined by my hair. Elissa’s post stirred old emotions and inspired me to revisit what hair truly means to us. The following is the old post remixed with new sentiments.
India Aire sang it best, “I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am a soul that lives within.”
As a black woman, hair is apart of my everyday life. What style to wear, will my hair hold up in the rain, can I go swimming and whether it is right or not. Not to mention the day long salon visits and money spent making my tresses the picture of perfection. At the moment, I’ve been on a hat streak due to a bad hair week! It’s a lot of pressure and I’m fully aware that loving my crown & glory has become more of a test in hard labor & duty!
Hair is a big deal and I am clearly not alone in my obsession. Essence reported that of a 20 billion industry, black women spend an estimated 7.5 billion dollars on beauty products a year. Yikes! With the release of Chris Rock’s “Good Hair”, a recent New York Times, article and countless other hair-raising incidents, it seems Black women and their hair is a hot button topic. Heck women and hair has always been a hot button topic.
Hair, particularly African American hair, is rooted in so many political, social and psychological issues. Our hair is no longer simply an extension of our bodies, it is an extension of our psyche. There is a common belief that if a Black woman wears her hair in any other state than its natural state she is rejecting herself. Wearing weaves, wigs, getting relaxers are all touted as an afront to our hair. Hair is an issue with as many layers as “The Rachel cut” so there is no clear-cut answer. The only retort that springs to mind is “I AM NOT MY HAIR!”
{My Hair Evolution: From Bangs to Curls from Fros to Weaves & back again}
I’ve worn my own hair in a variety of styles. I didn’t get a perm until I was a senior in high school and it did very little to alter my naturally thick hair. I’ve worn it relaxed for 5 years but got tired of the creamy crack and did a big chop about 4 years ago. I’ve rocked it natural, pressed it straight and have donned weaves and wigs for the fun of it! Through all of this, whether I am wearing my natural hair or some manufactured product, I still love myself and my hair is an extension of me, but it does not define me.
In hopes to perpetuate hair acceptance, I’ve come up with 10 Hair Commandments that women of all races can look to for loving their locks!
- Your hair is a glorious extension of you, but it is not all of you
- Thou shall not covet thy neighbors’ hair
- Hair is meant to be fun not frustrating
- All beauty products are not created equal; thou shall find tailored products
- Wearing a weave does not make you a sell out
- Just as wearing an afro does not make you a Superior Sista
- Color, Cut, Process, Repeat. Experimentation is Key
- Loving your hair starts with loving yourself
- We all have hair insecurities; embrace the hair ya momma gave ya
- In the end, it’s only hair!
Hair is a personal choice, not a political statement. It’s your crown and glory for a reason and you should be proud of what it represents to you. I loved my curly afro, except for the shrinkage and lack of variety.I got a weave and I loved it too, except for the time it takes. It’s so easy to change styles without damaging my natural hair. I dabble in wigs for the same reason. And when I’m in the mood to wear my hair wild, I wash my hair and let it go free. It’s all about my mood. All hair comes with limitations; there is no perfect “good or bad hair”. It’s about what’s perfect and good for you!
What do you think of the hair debate? How do you show your hair love? Leave a comment!
Couldn’t have said this better myself.
*rousing applause*
@Alicia: lol, thanks. It’s just something that bothers the hell outta me. It’s just hair for pete’s sake!
great post!
This is always going to be a tricky debate and I don’t think there is any real solution but I totally agree with you that hair is a personal choice and it’s about doing what makes you feel most comfortable! Great post!
@Felisha: Thanks!
@Nneoma: I agree that there isn’t a real solution, there are only personal solutions. Thanks for the comment!
I have to say, I am a “natural girl” and have been for a little over 2 years now. I love the strength and courage that my hair commands, but at times I do get a little weary of the maintenance and upkeep. But in those times I have not fear for I am not afraid of REMY !!! ;0 I love wearing my hair straight but haven’t done so in a while, with the moist weather and my current 5 days a week work out … but there are times I look at my straight hair pics and long for the days of cold, dry weather !
@CarterGirl: That’s the beauty of being a black woman, we can wear our hair in a multitude of styles!
I agree I wear m hair just curly I don`t like it because it`s so bulky but I hate when I straighten my hair it`s short o I really CANT straighten it.. It’s amazing how women are judged by their hair
@Nadia: I agree. We are judged on so many superficial levels it’s sickening.
“And when I’m in the mood to wear my hair wild, I wash my hair and let it go free. It’s all about my mood. Any style comes with limitations; there is no perfect “good hair bad hair” Black woman hairstyle. It’s about what’s perfect and good for you” — S.Thought
This is a perfect statement, if I may jump on a S.THOUGHT bandwagon! Not just as women of color, but as independent, dependent, angry, happy, fashion-forward, or uninfluenced women– we have (literally) the God-given hair right to wear our doo to suit our mood. I don’t need Tyra “I-wish-I-was-Gaye-King-to-be-closer-to-Oprah” Banks to tell me when to wear my “real” hair “out” as an effort to promote self-awareness and raise consciousness amongst (African-American) women!
I think people have gotten a little too Politically correct in their demise of European influence over hair. I’ll wear hair extensions, AKA weave, when and how I want to without regard for someone else’s self-proclaimed, self-awareness and self-righteousness. I’ll wear my “real” hair when I want without a chip on my shoulder that I’m somehow closer to either Jesus or Madame C.J. Walker because of it!
Oh Please, the hair is real, because it’s attached to a real person, by nature or a naturally good hair stylist who can sewn in a weave. ENOUGH.
[...] Stylish Thought: I Am Not My Hair [...]
LOVE THE BLOG! Just ran across it tonight!
TOTALLY AGREE!!
I remember back in the day when I first started blogging I got a slack from natural hair ladies that I was rejecting my “blackness” because I relaxed my hair. I wrote a post too that stated that I was not my hair and what was underneath it was all that mattered. Now that I’m officially natural, I have to remember that same principal, I am not my hair. And quite frankly women of other ethnicities don’t get slack for doing brazilian blow outs or curly perms. I understand the historical ramifications when it comes to African American’s and their hair but there has to come a time where we have to get passed that and put our energies into other things that affect us (like unemployment, crime rate, etc.)
Okay, I’m off my soap box now!
Whatever you do to your hair, its always be your choice. You should be sure that the hair style you want fits in you so that you will be looking great.
I like this post. very inspiring