Stylish Thought

Hooker fashion is quite popular now, isn’t it? The resurgence of the 80′s brought with it an exhibitionist, let it all hang up, sex it up streak in typically buttoned up people. Though I question if you can sex it up to this degree, were you ever really buttoned up? Myself, not one to judge, thinks that the hooker thigh boots (having just purchased a pair- more on that later) spandex bodysuits and day-glo have their time and place. Typically when they are most inappropriate. Such a bold statement deserves the proper platform and a wearer who doesn’t shy away from the spotlight.

Pretty Woman, a must watch tutorial in hooker fashion, elaborates the finer points in this style. Julia Roberts, far some being a sweetheart in this flick, is the quintessential woman of the night. Tight bandage skirt, flimsy wifebeater and (bells chiming, angels singing) the OTK patent leather hooker boot. OTK boots are the calling card of the street walker style and a must if one is to pull the look off with some credibility (it’s either this or actual walking the streets, which I do not advise)

Worrying about looking cheap is unnecessary as the mantra is clearly the cheaper the better. Classing up OTK boots and hooker wear is doable, but has the same effect of putting ice in a whisky shot… if you’re drinking whiskey you want to get drunk and if you’re wearing OTK boots… you want them to be seen. My OTK boots paired with lame leggings and a cream mini tunic, sent the right signal. “I’m young, I don’t care and I’m here to have fun.” And isn’t that what hooker fashion is all about.

Far from perfection, I’ve always been moderately confident, yet the tinges of insecurity reside in me, much like all women. The sight of a beautiful woman makes the core of me rumble and then ultimately my head rationalizes what my heart knows is true, “Even she, this beautiful, bodacious creature (that I want to strangle) has insecurities” Right, that’s exactly how it goes in my mind.

So it dawned on me one night, while perusing fashion magazines (crack to a recovering body-conscious obsessive) that models play a big role in why women are mentally jacked up! As I flipped ad through ad, scantily clad body after scantily clad body, stick thin rail after stick thin rail I was furious. Even my love handle pudge was incensed. Me and my body were pissed. It was bad enough that I lusted after the absurdly priced clothing, now I have a hang up about the human hangers.

It is true that (most) models are wickedly beautiful and wear clothes well. But this is true of many un-modelesque women. However you do not see their rotund bellies and stocky legs plastered on the covers (and in) magazines. Real women, some say, need not be threatened by models. And to that I answer- very true. I’m not threatened. I’m usurped by them! In my daily life and it has me wondering, besides wearing the clothes, why are models so important? And why must they be so thin? (first question aloud, second clearly in my mind) Your answer will surely be, “Because they possess natural beauty, are statuesque and can contort themselves into strange positions.” On any given Saturday night, many women can be found in the same precarious positions. And as stated above, while not all are statuesque, all women have natural and inner beauty.

Vanity and jealousy rears it’s ugly head, while going through fash magazines. In my heart of hearts I know that it’s not the models fault. The machine that is advertising and society says that sex and certain body types sell and we (me totally included) lap it up! To help the issue, next time I see a beautiful, model-esque girl instead of scorning her, I’ll feed her a cheeseburger. Hey, I’m doing my part to eliminate body envy.

How do you feel about models and body envy?